Last Ramadan my companions were my prayer mat and du’a. I buried myself in them, they heard my cries to my creator, and soaked my tears. This year as I reflected my companion for Ramadan, it made sense given the trajectory of my life right now.

Last Wednesday I was sitting at my cubicle at work listening to a live video Shaykha Maryam Amir did with Shaykha Saima Yacoob. And as Shaykha Saima narrated her story and journey with the Qur’an, I felt my heart swelling, my skin shivered in goosebumps and my eyes were filled with tears. Before I knew, I was bawling my eyes out.

At the end of 2019, I was in desperate need of closeness to Allah, for my love for Allah to bloom and for me to feel His love. My heart desperately yearned for proximity to Allah and to feel His love as a manifestation of hope against the despair I was experiencing. And I made du’a with every fiber in my being. So in the moment of this video, I realized how in desperate need I was for the Qur’an, for closeness to Allah and how much that yearning had intensified over the last 5 years.

I started my journey with the Qur’an again last year and I’ve been making du’a everyday that Allah fortifies me and helps me stay the course no matter what. Amin ya Rabb. I came home and relayed what happened to my mom and asked her to make du’a for me.

So this Ramadan, my companion will be none other than the guest of honor of this blessed month, the Qur’an. I pray may Allah grant me tawfiq to truly gain closeness to His book, to gain understanding, God-consciousness and clarity. For He says, “This is the Book! There is no doubt about it, a guide for those mindful and conscious of Allah" [2:2] & He says, “These are the verses of the clear Book. Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Quran so that you may understand." [12:1-2].

May Allah make me a person of the Qur’an. I pray may Allah ﷻ allow my heart to be a worthy receptor of the Qur’an and allow me to be worthy carrier of the Qur’an. May Allah preserve the Qur’an in my heart, in my memories, on my tongue and in my deeds. I ask Allah to increase me in beneficial knowledge. And I ask Allah to make the Qur’an the light of my heart, that Allah uses it to guide me and make it an intercessor for me on the day of judgment, and make it a witness for me and not against me. Allahumma Amin.

Ya Quddus, the most pure! Purify my heart and cleanse my faith such that it is devoid of doubts, those of which blemish it. Oh You who bears no resemblance to the creation, cleanse my deeds, my prayers and fill me with sincerity in offering them. Ya Quddus purify my heart and fill it with You and Your love. Allahumma Amin ya Rabb

With Love, Ibtisam