March 5, 2025

SubhanAllah, the days are slipping by, and we’ve already reached the halfway mark of the first ten days. Alhamdulillah, Allah has been Merciful, and Ramadan has been unfolding with ease. As I reflect, I realize just how gently Allah has facilitated this ease for me—granting me a sense of calm, allowing me to pace myself through each passing day.

I am, more or less, a recovering self-critical perfectionist, and Ramadan is a time when I tend to be even harder on myself. Yet, in His infinite Mercy, Allah—Ar-Rahman—has carried me through this wave of tranquility. And it is not lost on me that in His Gentle Subtlety, He blessed me with this ease during the first ten days, which are known as the days of Rahma (Mercy). After all, He is Al-Latif—The Gentle, The Subtle.

Even as I begin to feel like I am falling behind on my goals, missing the mark on things I committed to, I find myself less anxious, more gracious toward myself, and accepting each day as Allah has willed it. And as always, as my teachers have taught me, I turned to the Qur’an with these thoughts.

As I recited Juz 5, I came across three verses in Surah An-Nisa that encapsulated so much of what I had been feeling. Not only did they dispel my doubts, but they also served as a wake-up call. These were ayats 26-28 of surah An-Nisa:

“It is Allah’s Will to make things clear to you, guide you to the ˹noble˺ ways of those before you, and turn to you in mercy. For Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.’” [4:26]

“And it is Allah’s Will to turn to you in grace, but those who follow their desires wish to see you deviate entirely ˹from Allah’s Way˺.” [4:27]

“And it is Allah’s Will to lighten your burdens, for humankind was created weak.” [4:28]

SubhanAllah. How fitting that Allah willed for me to read these ayats at this exact moment, with these exact thoughts, in a way that spoke to my heart so deeply. In the first ayah, Allah reassures me: He wills to make things clear—there is nothing ambiguous about what He requires of me this Ramadan. He has prescribed fasting so that I may attain taqwa, God-consciousness [2:183] and He has given this month as a means to proclaim His greatness and be grateful [2:185]. That is clarity.

Then, He reminds me again that it is His Will to guide me and to accept my repentance. The Arabic phrase وَيَتُوبَ عَلَيْكُمْ (wa yatubu alaykum) means not just to "turn to you in mercy," but to accept your repentance. And He ends by telling me that He is All-Knowing, All-Wise—He knows my circumstances, my bandwidth, my intentions. He already knows what I will and won’t accomplish this Ramadan. And in His Wisdom, He has already designed exactly what this Ramadan will look like for me. My role is to show up, acknowledge the clarity He has given me, embrace the guidance, put in the effort, and turn to Him ﷻ in repentance for where I fall short.

Truly, in all three ayats the arabic word used is یُرِیدُ ٱللَّهُ (yuridu’llah) - meaning Allah wants. And in the continuation of the ayah Allah says those who follow their desires, they want أَن تَمِیلُوا۟ مَیۡلًا عَظِیماً - the direct Arabic translation will be “to deviate you into great deviation.” In other words, a complete deviation from Allah’s Way. This ayah reminds me that there will always be distractions—whether from people, things, or even my own desires—that attempt to pull me away from Allah’s path. But Allah wills to accept my repentance, again and again. He wants me to return to Him, no matter how many times I stray.

And finally, Allah, in His beautiful Mercy, reassures me once more: this path is not meant to burden me, but to bring ease. He always intends ease for me. And in the ultimate reminder, He tells me: I was created weak. So where else can I turn for strength, for guidance, for clarity, for forgiveness—if not to Him?

Concurrently, as comforting as these ayats were, they also shook me. Allah has made things clear for me. He has willed guidance for me. He has willed to accept my repentance. He has willed ease for me. But the question I had to ask myself was: What am I doing in return for these favors? In what ways am I striving to benefit from them?

It would be a great loss—may Allah protect me—to stand before Him one day, having failed to take advantage of the ease He granted me. It would be like receiving a cheat sheet with all the answers to an exam, only to show up and deliberately write down the wrong ones. May Allah protect us from such heedlessness.

Ya Allah Ya Hadi (The Guide), I ask You ya Rabb to continue to guide me and do not cause me to deviate after You have guided me. Ya ‘Alim, Al-Hakim (All-Knowing, All-Wise), You know and I know naught. To You belong the knowledge of the seen and unseen, I ask You for clarity in following Your path and clarity in my affairs. Grant me the ability to see truth as truth and enable me to follow it and grant me the ability to see falsehood as falsehood and enable me to avoid it.

Ya Rahman, Ya Tawwab (Most Merciful, Ever-Acceptor of Repentance), I seek Your forgiveness for my sins - both major and minor, and those that I know and those I’m unaware of, those that are public and those hidden. Ya Salam (Source & Giver of Peace), Ya Latif (The Gentle, The Subtle), ease for me my affairs and lighten for me my burdens.

Ya Nur (The Light, The Illuminator), I ask You for the light of guidance; place within my heart light and upon my tongue light, and within my ears light and within my eyes light and place behind me light and in front of me light, and above me light and beneath me light. Ya Nur bestow Your light upon me. Allahumma Amin ya Rabb

With Love, Ibtisam