I have always been fearful of portraying a life that appears to be perfect. I’m not one to share difficult moments in my life nor do I make it obvious. One thing is certain, Allah has always covered me and my family in His grace. It is hard for someone to look at my life on the outside and think that I have ever been afflicted. Alhamdulilah for Allah’s bounty.

I have been told words to the effect of :

“You have no problems.” “No one will believe you if you say you are struggling.” “You just don’t look like someone struggling.”

Many times, I have been told these during some of the most difficult moments of my life but SubhanAllah it was also in these moments that on the outside no one saw a trace of difficulty in my life. The only thing carrying me was Allah’s Mercy and my trust in Him. I have always believed these are the moments that Allah reminds me of His love for me. Because it is in these moments that I draw closer to Him. It is in these moments that I truly taste the sweetness of tawakkul (complete trust and reliance on Allah).

But I am only human, I feel pain when I am hurt. I crash and I break down. And these words, like knives pierce my heart. It has become even harder for me to express myself when I am going through difficult moments lest I sound or appear ungrateful. Because on the outside everyone sees me living a “perfect, beautiful life with no problems.” So me speaking of my struggles does not fit that narrative. I have never lived a perfect life but I have lived a life that has always been fashioned by the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious - Al-Musawwir (The Flawless Fashioner).

It seems like our society has become obsessed with appearances as the gauge for measuring one’s life or for determining who deserves grace and compassion. If you do not look like you are struggling then you must not be. Where lies the line between private and public life? between authentic humanness and over sharing? To be considered human or authentic, does one have to share their deepest darkest secret?

May I never appear as though I live a perfect life, but always reflect what it looks like to be carried graciously by a perfect God.

وَأَمَّا بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثْ - And for the bounty/blessing your Lord, proclaim it.” [93:11].

I pray that Allah continues to cover me and my family in His Grace and protect us, Amin.

With love, Ibtisam