March 13, 2024

Do you ever feel like there’s never enough time to get things done? I often used to feel this way almost everyday and although, I seldom feel this way now; because of a new habit that I learned last Ramadan and have since implemented, of asking Allah for His baraka in my time. This feeling of time slipping through my fingers seems to become exacerbated in Ramadan. It feels like each day of Ramadan comes and goes so quickly.

Last night before I realized, it was midnight by the time I made it in bed. My eyes were heavy with sleep. I had made the intention to wake up for tahajjud although I couldn’t fast, I still intended to wake up to read a portion of my Juz of the day (digitally) and do some dhikr. I worried I wasn’t going to make it given how tired I was and how heavy my eyes were from the lack of sleep. Still, I made the intention and before I was overtaken by sleep, I quietly whispered - “Ya Allah let the next 4/5 hours of sleep feel like more and let it be enough for me.” The next thing I heard was the sound of my alarm at 5 am.

The sleep suddenly disappeared from my eyes and I jumped out of bed. SubhanAllah, there was no trace of sleep left and I felt well rested Alhamdulillah. I washed my face, grabbed my ipad and my tasbih and made it to my corner of worship. I spent some time doing dhikr before proceeding to recite the Qur’an. I recited half the Juz, made my du’a and went back to sleep. My second alarm went off and I woke up again to get ready for my work day.

Later, this evening after Maghrib, I decided to read the translation of the pages I had recited this morning and to reflect on them before finishing up the rest of the Juz and the next Juz for today. As I read through, I came across ayah 143 of surah Al-Baqarah [2:143] and as I made it to the end of the ayah I couldn’t help but proclaim Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest). Allah says in the last part of the ayah:

“…And Allah would never discount your faith. Surely Allah is Ever Gracious and Most Merciful to humanity.” [2:143]

Allahu Akbar! Allah is indeed Ever Gracious and Most Merciful. It was as if Allah was saying to me, my effort in making the intention to wake up albeit being tired and sleepy was not lost because it was done with faith, with yaqeen (certainty) and for the sake of Allah. I wasn’t sure I was going to wake up but I still made the intention, set the alarm and asked Allah for help and left the rest to Him ﷻ. And in His Generosity and Mercy, He granted it to me. This ayah felt like Allah telling me that no deed is lost with Him ﷻ. In other words, no effort is wasted. In this ayah, I found hope and reassurance. My worry of not being able to do enough in this month of Ramadan was now pale in comparison to Allah’s Grace and Mercy. Allah is saying to me, all I need to do is put in the effort and leave the rest to Him. Ultimately, it is not our deeds that will earn us His rewards or His Jannah but it is through His Grace and Mercy because He ﷻ would never discount our effort and our faith.

I pray that may Allah continue to show us His Grace and Mercy. Ya Rahman I ask You to help me have the most sincerest intentions for my deeds even if they are small. Ya Ra’uf (The Most Gracious, Most Kind) purify my heart, my intentions and my deeds and allow them to weigh heavy on Your scale. Ya Rahman, help me remember You, to be grateful to You, to worship You in excellence and to always have hope in Your Mercy. Ya Ra’uf, Ya Rahman, I ask You to continue to be Ever Gracious and Most Merciful to me. Allahumma Amin.

With love, Ibtisam