March 12, 2024

In my tajwid class today, my teacher (Anse Samia Mubarak, may Allah bless her) started off sharing with us an advice that was given to her by her mother (may Allah preserve her) with regards to Ramadan.

“Be careful not to fall into this notion that Ramadan is a destination. Ramadan is a vehicle to help us get to the destination.”

That we don’t just get through Ramadan and then that’s it. Instead, we let Ramadan help us get to where we want to be. Ramadan is a month that shows us our potential. Between serving our families, our communities; making time for Qur’an, increasing in our ibadats etc., we realize that this is the possibility of what our days outside of Ramadan could look like. And while we know that this month is a month of baraka and increased rewards, it is the change in perspective and the intention of “I want to feel my life as if it is Ibadah, for my life to be the potential that Allah shows me in Ramadan.”

As I listened, I found myself reflecting on my own intention for this Ramadan. My intention of cultivating a more intimate relationship with Allah, the kind in which I go to Allah first with everything even with what I may think to be miniscule. In other words, I want a relationship with Allah in which I speak to Allah intimately from the heart, with no barrier and no guards up. Just me humbly baring my soul to my creator. I want a relationship where I feel Allah ﷻ speak to me through His Qur’an. A relationship with Allah where the Qur’an becomes an intimate conversation between Allah and I. Ya Rabb accept this intention from me. And as I take my steps towards You, slow as they may be, I ask You by Your Mercy to come to me running; fill the gap between my heart and You.

Amidst these thoughts circulating my mind, my attention draws back to class as my teacher starts to reflect on the ayats in surah Al-Baqarah [2:124-136]. These ayats tell us about prophet Ibrahim peace be upon him and the foundation he established in his tawhid (belief in the onenesss of Allah). He asks Allah to make the city (Mecca) secure and to provide for its people. Anse Samia mentions that in another surah, he asks Allah to allow the hearts of people to be inclined to it because he knew that the route to iman (faith), to Allah, to the Qur’an, is the heart. She goes on to explain that:

“The heart has a lot to do with the Qur’an and the Qur’an has a lot to do with the heart.”

Revelation was sent to the heart of our beloved messenger ﷺ. And there are many ayats that speak about the heart; about the hearts of the believers trembling upon hearing the recitation of the Qur’an. She goes on to speak on the fact that for a lot of us growing up, we’re taught our faith through being fed rules and legalities before being taught anything about the heart. And in most cases, the heart is neglected. We aren’t taught to feel the ayats we read, to allow our hearts to be moved by it; to love Allah and the messenger. Essentially, to know Allah with our hearts and to establish faith in our hearts. As I allowed her words to simmer in the back of my mind, she shares a reflection prompt with us:

“Think of your heart in relation to the Qur’an. What does the heart mean to you when it comes to the Qur’an?”

As I pondered over the prompt, I remembered a du’a I made in the form of a letter to Allah just last month in preparation of submitting my heart to Allah in order to cultivate the intimacy that I longed for with Him ﷻ . And subhanAllah, how Merciful is Allah that from the inception of me making the intention and this du’a to know Him with my heart, He began opening ways for me through ayats in the Qur’an like He did yesterday, and through this class today. How could I possibly have known my teacher was going to speak about the heart as a route to Allah? But here we are. As I always say, there is truly no coincidence except that it is the decree of Allah. So I leave you with my personal du’a that I made and I pray that this reflection and my du’a is of benefit to you. And I pray that Allah accepts it for me and for you.

Dear Allah, All praise and thanks belong to You ya Rabb. The Most Merciful, The Most Forgiving, The Gentle, The Subtle. Ya Allah I am weak and You are Strong. Ya Rahman, I ask You for Your Ever-Encompassing Mercy. Ya Rabb it is me again coming to You embarrassed of my shortcomings, shy of Your Majestic Presence, regretful of my constant transgressions, but with a heart filled with love for You, a heart seeking Your Companionship, seeking Your Light, seeking Your Pleasure and seeking Your Love. None is worthy of worship but You. I am unworthy but You are ever so Generous. Ya Wadud, The Most Loving, continue to choose me for You and for the Qur’an. I humbly beseech You Ya Allah by all of the names that You call Yourself, that You have taught to anyone in Your creation, that You have mentioned in Your Books and that You have kept to Yourself, I ask You Ya Hafidh The Guarding One, The Protector, The One who Preserves, to make the Qur’an the spring of my heart, the light of my chest, the remover of my sadness and the reliever of my anxieties and my worries. Ya Ghaniyy increase my love for You, my desire for the Qur’an and make it light for my sight and a cure for my heart. Ya Jamil, The Most Beautiful, The Source of Beauty, beautify my tongue with it, decorate my face with it and perfect my voice with it. Ya Qawiyy, The Most Powerful, The All-Strong, increase my body in strength with the Qur’an. Ya Razzaq, The Provider, give us rizq (sustenance) and ability to recite it with submission to You throughout the night and during the day. And reunite us with Your beloved messenger Muhammad ﷺ and his family and companions in the highest of Jannah and in the best of gatherings. Allahumma Amin.

With love, Ibtisam